The Boys I've Loved

The old scent and smell
Pervades my senses
Like the first draw
On the Newports I used to smoke (but I don't anymore)

It smells like the night
I poured out my heart to you
While we chain smoked on the trampoline
And I coughed for three weeks (it's gone now)

It feels like the night
When I was still innocent
And asked a boy
If I could hold his hand (he said no)

It sounds like the night
I took you back
And when I realized what I'd done
I fell apart all over again (but I still smile)

It looks like the night
I discovered who I was
And I held you close and wished
That you could be mine (but I couldn't tell you)

And overall I get this sense
That someday all of these
Will come together and create
One full sense (but it's taking a long time)