Looking at you now makes me smile, hurt, and want to cry all at the same time. Just look at you! You're so brave, so innocent, so naive- one sweet 16 bundle that is about to go through the worst, and the best, 3 years of your life so far. Those doors look so big right now. You feel so small, with you back pack weighted down by every possible school supply mom could think of. She waved you away on your first day.
Oh mom, I do love you so much.
You're going to meet the love of your life, your soul mate, on this bus. Don't hold back. Give him everything you've got. Love him, cherish him, worship the ground he walks on. Maybe this time around he'll love you better than he loved me.
Throughout your 3 years in high school, you are going to meet some of your best friends and your worst enemies, and some will be disguised as the opposite of what they are.
You're going to be ripped to shreds many times before your school career is over. Friends will stab you in the back. Love will turn sour. But remember, those who stay beside you throughout your worst days are the ones you need to hold on to and trust.
Mr. Kimbrough and Mr. B are going to be your greatest allies throughout this war. Don't let them down. Keep fighting, keep pushing, because it's so worth it in the end.
Don't let anyone try to tell you who you are. Be you. Live on the wild side. Enjoy being the nobody, but when you turn into the 'boss ass bitch' who wheels, deals, and forges signatures, live it up. Just don't get caught. You have the ability to talk yourself out of almost every situation, but you're going to have to pick your battles wisely. Choose when to talk, and when to take your punishment.
Marching band is going to become your other family. That's a good thing. Play every instrument they ask you. Take a walk in Mr Kimbrough's shoes and discover everything he's ever done for you. Stand up to the bullies and stand up for those who cannot fight. And when he breaks your heart...when you realize that the person you have built your life around for the last 2 1/2 years no longer loves you...be brave, little one. Your life has not ended. Go do everything he never let you do. Wear heels, wear makeup, dress up for the pretty boy down the hall, get your tattoos, shave your head...you are free.
Become the person you want to be but are so afraid of becoming. Let your inner self and you will be ok.
I am standing at the end of Senior year now, the only early graduate here. My light is about to go out in the halls and next year's freshmen won't have me to fight for them.
And you, my sweet, naive, innocent little girl.
You no longer exist.
You've changed so much in the last 3 years that your past self is gone.
I'm proud of you.
-Senior me
Ps- The doors are still big when you walk out."
♥
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