I'm back.
I'm back where I have always belonged, where I probably always will belong. With Jewel and the Martins in SC (yes Jewel, I'm going to stay with you forever).
I got here yesterday, after a very long car ride from home, and was very excited to immediately set out on horseback to the church soccer game. The game was pretty awesome- I hadn't played in two years, but it started to all come back to me. I even kicked the ball a few times XD
By the time we got home, I was tired and already sore, so we sort of fell into bed and went to sleep. Early this morning we woke up, did the chores (that is to say, Jewel did the chores and I played with my filly, Lilybet. I love her), saddled up Blaze and Giselle and headed down to DHEC (Dancing Horses Equestrian Center), where Jewel took a few horses through their paces, and Blaze and I got reacquainted (and he remembered that I'm boss.). We took Blaze and another pony (Jewel's show pony) through the course (Well, I loped Blaze around while she did some jumps, then we took them both through the water), which ended up being very interesting.
We came home for a few minutes, grabbed some food, and then headed out to Cameron's, where I mucked out the barn while Jewel took the horses out, and then we both cleaned the paddocks.
Now we're both home. Well, that's not true. I'm home, she went to one more place and then she'll be home. Right now everyone is leaving for the meal at the prison, and me and Gwen are going to be home alone until Jewel gets back.
Tata for now ;)

Staring at screens
Reading long books that have no words
At least
I don't really see them
I watch a show
But it doesn't make sense
To me
Because
I don't really
Hear
Anything
Nothing at all.
At school, we learn about
The Holocaust.
It's ok.
Until we get to the images.
The images are what break me.
Not because
Of some gore
Not the emaciated bodies
But it's the screams
It's the voices. The
voices
That scream
That cry out to me
I hear them in my head
They won't stop.
No one else hears them.
They sit there like
This is normal
That they see this
Everyday
Like there is nothing to hear.
Do they not hear them?
Do they not hear the screams?
Can they not understand the
Pleas
The voices
Begging for help?
Once they realize you can hear them
Once they realize you
Can understand them
They will not leave you alone.
They will flood your dreams
With so many colors
(Mainly red)
They will blast their emotions
(Mostly pain and fear)
They will dance to the music
(Music of the guns)
And they won't be still
Until you force them away with
Music.
Music that is so loud it hurts your ears.
You close your eyes
Tightly, now,
And begin to mouth the words.
Focus on the song.
Forget the world
Outside
Your ears exists
Forget the world
Inside
Your very ears can speak
Focus only on the music
That alone will keep the
Masses silent
That alone will make them
Shut up.
Feel the beat.
Let it be so loud
That it rocks you.
It becomes the heart
Of the body.
Let it be your
Driving force.
The thing that
Keeps you alive, the
Thing that protects you.
Don't feel guilty.
You should.
But don't. Don't let it
Take over, don't
Let it tell you
You were
Wrong.
If you look at pictures
And they begin screaming
Scream back at them
Tell them to leave you alone.
They won't,
But it's worth a shot.
And we all say you're crazy.
You say
I'm crazy.
You will not listen
But I know.
I know what I know.
I know what I have been through.
And you don't want it.
But neither do I want
It to go away.
I wouldn't wish
This on my worst enemy.
But I will not part
With this curse.
I don't know
Why it happened to me.
I don't know
Why I want it.
But I will
Not
Part
With it.